Gaslighting

I think it is safe to say that we are all living in interesting times and for some of us, challenging times. First there was the virus and if that was not enough, now racism and censorship are added to the mix.

If you are not very aware, you will get drawn into the collective trauma vortex that the world is currently flooded with and, as I see it, which is fed by the media. I don’t think you wanna be in this vortex and it will help no one.

With this blog, I want to raise awareness about gaslighting. Why now? Because I can see and feel it happening on a micro and macro level and because it influences (mental) health.

What is gaslighting?

The term gaslighting comes from the movie  ‘Gaslight’. In this movie a man makes his wife believe she is going crazy. Gaslighting is all about  ‘make believe’. Gaslighting is a manipulation strategy, it’s insidious and has everything to do with the (mis)use of power. It’s a form of psychological warfare. It is the most subtle and caustic form of abuse.

When used, it makes you second guess yourself. It makes you second guess your sanity. It is divisive on a personal and on a collective level. It can leave you completely fragmented.

This time specifically, acquires an unfragmented, healthy mind, so you can make healthy, levelheaded choices on every level.

Who uses gaslighting?

This strategy is used in (intimate) relationships, in friendships, in companies, in all kind of groups and also on a global level. It is mostly used by people who feel insecure. This goes for groups as well of course.

What can you do?

• Radical honesty toward yourself and honor your feelings. Show up for yourself in a mercyful way.
• If you start to feel uncomfortable in whatever relation: stop, take your time and find out whether it touches a personal wound (I can tell you right now: most probably yes) and take care of this wound. You might need some one else to help you take care of your wound. Only you can decide that, so be your own best friend.
• If you feel triggered, if you feel defensive, stay with it; lean into it so to say. It is your feeling, your responsability and no need to lash out, or point fingers and thus making things worse.
• Concentrate on your own healing vortex. Do not get caught up in the collective trauma vortex. You can do this by slowing down and staying embodied. I talked about on how to do this in previous blogs.
• Don’t confuse facts with feelings on a global scale. Try to see what is going on from as many angles as you can. Talk to people with an open heart, when you feel up to it.
• Please take into consideration: wounds tend to multiply when not taken care of properly. The good news is: so does all the good stuff, like love and gratitude.

I wish you love, happiness and enjoy this game called life!

Myoki